"Every fallen angel prays for a second chance to fly again. And over time these tired wings have given in to the same old sins.
You're the only one who makes me feel like I could ever fly again."

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Being a Loser in a Family of Winners

I suck. At math, at chemistry, at making and keeping friends, at being funny, at everything. I don't have one good thing that I'm good at. Instead I have a few things that I'm not too bad at like singing, acting and dancing. Even then, I'm a klutz and it takes me forever to figure out what I'm doing. Now, I could probably live with this except that my mom pretends to everyone that I'm focusing on dance and that's why I'm doing so little in school; my younger sister is a perfectionist, my dad wants a perfect daughter with good grades, and my teachers think I'm a hopeless waste of time. I just spent 1 and a half hours on the same stupid Math 11 question. a) it was easy, I knew what I was supposed to do, I had the answers just not the way the question had asked for them, and b) I should be in grade 12. I think I just want to get my GED and then join the circus.
I know I shouldn't feel like this about myself. I mean, in God's eyes, I'm worth so much more and I have skills and talents. I just wish He'd show them to me.
I'm sure to Him I'm beautiful but I can't help but feel like a disappointment to my parents and my family. I want to be done with school. I'm pretty sure I'm never gonna need to figure out X and Y while I'm dancing on a stage or acting or singing. I should write a musical theater song about that. or not. again, not my talent. EFFING HELLL I hate this.

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